All Hail The Queen

Call me archaic but I think in our modern age, monarchy still exists. We hand-pick our royalties from semi-celebrities to people who take their photos of their outfit of the day, unknowingly proclaiming ourselves as their followers. (Oh hello, Twitter.)

But there will always be the royalty we didn’t choose and simply invaded our lives - in high school, in college and even at work. They might not be the same person, but she’s definitely the same girl. The girl God made to continually make us feel insecure and inadequate. The Queen Bee.

Contrary to popular belief, the Queen Bee is not the girl you can never be. In fact, she’s the girl who’s almost as good (or great) as you, only she makes herself appear to be better than you. She surrounds herself with friends who will make her always one step ahead and bullies you if you attempt to wage a fair fight. She can be the girl who violently pushes you when you bump into each other. Or she can be the girl who gives you cake face to face and would attach a nuclear weapon at your back. Either way, she’s the golden girl and she will make sure you cannot outshine her.

In my 24 years in this planet, I’ve been pushed around, given cake and been planted with nuclear bombs from behind. I’ve seen girls fight back against the Queen Bees of their life but early on, I realized I’m not the type who does that. For years, I've suffered and wallowed quietly until I recently learned that the Queen Bee’s source of power is my very own insecurities.

So whenever I felt that my own Queen Bee haunts me and  tries to paralyze me, I hear The Eraserheads sing to me: “Ikaw ang diyos at hari nang ‘yong mundo. Matakot sila sa ‘yo.” I’ll be reminded to let go and let the Queen Bee have her rule, find a myself a new passion to take control of. Something I can own and I can be awesome at.

And here’s my ode to all the Queen Bees who tried but failed to reign over me.

 

      1. Pretend To Be Nice by Letters To Cleo
      2. Boys With Girlfriends by Meiko
      3. Ugly Girl by Fleming & John
      4. Call An Ambulance by Albert Hammond, Jr.
      5. Tighten Up by The Black Keys
      6. Happiness Is A Warm Gun by The Beatles
      7. Crazy by Aerosmith
      8. I Can Buy You by A Camp
      9. You Know The Answer, Follow The Leader by Ciudad*
      10. SURPRISE TRACK
      11. (They Long To Be) Close To You cover by Cranberries
      12. Just Like Heaven by The Cure
      13. There's Always Someone Cooler Than You by Ben Folds
      14. Cool by Gwen Stefani
      15. Giraffe by The Miniature Tigers
      16. You're So Cruel Stephanie by Patience Dear Juggernaut*
      17. Bust Your Kneecaps by Pomplamoose

 

Download the mix here.

*You Know The Answer, Follow The Leader by Ciudad can be downloaded here.
*You're So Cruel Stephanie by Patience Dear Juggernaut can be downloaded here.

by Cj de Silva

The 3 Kinds of Guys You Will Meet In Your Life

Archetypes, by definition, are universally understood symbols (or characters) based on patterns and previous experiences. For me, we use archetypes to conveniently summarize our life as well as the people we meet.

As children, our parents trained us not to trust other people, especially strangers (who may be out to get us and hold us up for ransom). I guess before, it was simpler because we just have to examine whether someone is acting like a kidnapper, luring us with candies. But now that we’re much older, its quite a challenge to tell if we’re about to have our hearts broken by guys promising us romance.

So based on my personal experience, lots of second hand information and exposure to pop culture, here is an unofficial collection of modern-day archetypes of guys we all could meet (or have met).


The Asshole

The Asshole

He probably is the easiest to identify because he is straightforward to a fault. His confidence can come off as arrogance but often, he’s got something to brag. In a normal basis, don’t expect him to voluntarily open the door or wait for you when you walk together. For him, chivalry is an armor he wears when he’s out to a battle to impress someone. And that makes us perennially attracted to Assholes - the thrill of seeing the difference between the way he treats the girl he likes and the way he treats the world.

His psychology: “This is who I am, take it or leave it.”

Fictional Assholes:

 

The Douche

The Douche

He works out, drives a fancy car, plans his outfit for the day and he actually has a mental index of party pick up lines. He does everything over the top it becomes annoying. But The Douche is too concerned about his image for a reason - most of the time it is because he’s insecure. I would compare him to the durian fruit - pungent but can be a yummy eat. (Although I personally don’t like durian, you get what I mean.) When a girl uncovers what is behind the pa-cool image, The Douchebag can be thoughtful, honest and caring. (I know a lot of people will kill me for this but...) Just look at Scott Disick.

His psychology: “I have to build an image of a cool guy.”

Fictional Douche bags:

The Jerk

jerk

Personally, I think The Jerk is the most dangerous of all because  he is unaware of how destructive he can be and he looks harmless. He is brooding and reflective most of the time because he is internally conflicted by insecurities. The Jerk starts off as a nice guy. But as you go along, you will feel his sense of self-entitlement and its as if the world owes him something. Or as I prefer to call it, pa-victim. And please, don’t be fooled by his sensitivity because he is just sensitive to himself.

His psychology: “I’ve been a nice guy all my life and the world owes me. I think it’s just fair if I break someone’s heart.”

Fictional Jerks:

 

To summarize the archetypes, my friend Celina and I made this Venn Diagram two years ago.

venn diagram

I have met assholes, jerks and douchebags. Some of them I became good friends with , a few of them I dated and some I even genuinely loved. And even though I have the archetypes always ready to help me thin-slice the guys I meet, I also learned that archetypes are oversimplification of  people. At the core, guys are complex people with insecurities, fears and dreams, all worth knowing. I believe we’re all smart enough to safeguard ourselves from each other. After all, like what Stephen Chbosky wrote in the book Perks of Being A Wallflower, “You receive the love you think you deserve.”

***

Special thanks to Celina Borromeo for the Venn Diagram and all other inputs. 

My paper doll illustrations are all inspired by Kyle Hilton's paper doll illustration.

And simply click the images to download the 1024 x 768 file that can be desktop wallpapers. :)

 

by Cj de Silva

Independence Day Inspired Keds

When Keds Philippines asked me if I can design a pair of Keds classics for our country’s Independence Day celebration, I did not think twice. The theme is definitely close to my heart and it’s not the first time I designed a pair of shoes inspired by my passion for our country. (Back in 2003, I designed another pair of sneakers inspired by our country’s national heroes and traditions.)

So here’s my newest custom-painted pair of Keds! Not to be too deep, but when I was coming up with my concept, I thought that shoes will always come in pairs - one can exist but cannot fully function without the other. Just like revolution and freedom. In our country’s context, we needed the revolution to gain freedom, and the idea of freedom fueled our fire for a revolution.

kedsxindie01

kedsxindie02

kedsxindie03

kedsxindie04

kedsxindie05

kedsxindie06

kedsxindie07

This pair is officially on auction! There is only one pair of Keds with this design and I don’t repeat designs. It is in Women’s size 6 (but Keds’ sizes are a bit bigger than usual. I’m usually size 7 but the size 6 fits me well.)

To participate:

  1. Minimum bid is at PhP 1,600.
  2. Bids at PhP 10 denomination (example: PhP 1610 then PhP1620)
  3. Follow and tweet your bid to @KedsPH and @cjdesilva with the hashtag #KedsPHauction (example: “PhP1610 @KedsPH @cjdesilva #KedsPHauction”)
  4. Bidding starts now and ends at 11PM of June 15, 2012
  5. For payments, you may deposit it through PayPal or bank deposit.
  6. To claim your pair of Keds, I can personally meet up with you or ship it to you.

Thank you, folks and start bidding now!

by Cj de Silva

Kids, It's Back To School

When Wincy went home in Manila last April, we thought of touring each other in our schools. He brought me to Ateneo, gushed on how much it changed, reenacted the way he would fix his hair before approaching his college crush and explained the hierarchy of Ateneans based on the locations of their bench.

Of course I brought him to UP Diliman (but if St. Scho Manila was closer, I would’ve toured him there too.) At first, I thought there’s nothing I could elaborate about UP because I thought I didn’t have enough memories which are worth telling. I always saw myself as the one who just went to her classes, spent odd break times in the library and rushed home. I never really hung out and made friends. In fact, I would record my groupmates’ numbers in my mobile phone as “groupmate glasses <insert subject name>”. I didn’t mean to be aloof, I just really wanted to graduate and start working (and earning.) Yes, I’m the tin woman back then, I guess.

But as I stepped on the grasses and threaded the pathway from AS to the Fine Arts building, I found myself describing to Wincy how much I loved January mornings in UP. I recalled how much I loved PanPil 19, the time when it rained in the track oval, my feet got stuck into the mud and that it took two guy block mates had to pull and carry me. Suddenly, UP Diliman turned into a remembrance of my coming of age.

Cliche as it may sound, I realized that UP Diliman felt like home. Even if I’ve (figuratively) moved out four years ago, its still my sanctuary. School will always be the place where I can go back to innocence, where idealism is my everyday coffee and mistakes are fixable the next semester.

So here’s the BACK TO SCHOOL PLAYLIST I made inspired by my newfound memories of school.

back to school

    1. Holiday by Weezer
    2. You Only Live Once by The Strokes
    3. My Emptiness by Ciudad
    4. Holland, 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel
    5. Lover by Devendra Banhart
    6. Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
    7. Art School Lover (Death to Ordinary Girls) by Patience Dear Juggernaut
    8. Like Or Like Like by Miniature Tigers
    9. Trying To Say I Love You by Math and Physics Club
    10. Little Secrets by Passion Pit
    11. Our Weekends Dissolve by Us-2 Evil-0
    12. Shut Up and Let Me Go by The Ting Tings
    13. Take It Easy by Surfer Blood
    14. Beetlebum by Blur
    15. Maxwell’s Silver Hammer by The Beatles
    16. When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade by The Boy Least Likely To
    17. Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds

 

(Click on the track names, they are links where you can download or access these tracks.)

 

walking UP

 

I hope you enjoy the playlist! And pocket all the memories you can get from school. These will be your sustenance for the grit of the real world.
***
Illustrations were drawn using an iPad 2 and the +Jot Pro stylus.

by Cj de Silva

5 Things I Learned Today From Mr. Neal Cruz

Isn’t it just so timely? It’s the first day of school (again) and we all had something to read already -

Mr. Neal Cruz’s opinion piece in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Most of you have already submitted your reactions and reflections over Twitter and Facebook but along with the back-to-school spirit, I took the enjoyment of writing a “paper” about things I learned today from Mr. Neal Cruz.

Here they are:

1. Opinion writing does not require any research.

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.” the old adage goes. Opinions are personal and subjective. Mr. Cruz definitely demonstrated that mere expression of one’s opinion, like a knee-jerk shriek, is enough.  Just like the way he simply proclaimed the paintings on EDSA as visual pollution and did not even bother researching on what the Boysen KNOxOut EDSA project really is. He felt that there is no need to probe further if the paint Boysen donated were really “unsalable ones” (like what he mentioned) and not actually air-cleaning paint. So I guess point deductions for me because I actually tried Googling Mr. Neal Cruz before I wrote this. I was wrong to have asked who he is and what Else does he do other than write columns. I guess then Lourd De Veyra mislead us through his inspiring UP MassComm graduation speech, telling us to always  “GMG” or Google mo, gago!

2. A trusted broadsheet like The Philippine Inquirer publishes opinion pieces without the checking the facts.

For me, a very poignant moment in the movie Almost Famous was when The Rolling Stones fact checker disapproved young William Miller’s tell-all feature about the band Still Waters. But I guess its fiction after all. In real life, publications don't have fact checkers. Or maybe fact checkers exist and The Philippine Daily Inquirer has one too. It’s just that The Philippine Daily Inquirer observes lesson number 1 by heart.

3.Modern art has no (public) space in the Metro Manila, only A. Mabini-esque art is allowed.

So I guess my semester nerding over the Philippine Art History is all a travesty! I guess National Artist Victorio Edades’ efforts (of epic proportions) to introduce our country to the Modernist movement in the 1940s til the late 1980s were all just a waste. I bet Neal Cruz would’ve called Edades’ masterpieces “ugly” (like the Boysen murals in EDSA) because they were very far from Edades’ contemporary, Fernando Amorsolo. I also bet Neal Cruz would’ve crucified Banksy if he painted one wall in Manila.

4. Artists who don’t paint nipa huts and fruit-bearing trees are cheaters.

Yes, Baby and Coco Anne of B+C designs did not actually study in the Parsons School of Design, New York and L’ Academie Charpentier, Paris France. They were never trained to draw the simplest form of nipa huts. Jose Tence Ruiz never really learned how to draw farm animals and the brooks and rivers in the UST College of Fine Arts. He can only paint “scary” underwater creatures that give nightmares to a random bus-riding child. (Side note: I consider this child very lucky because he didn’t have to read books and encyclopedias about deep sea creatures, he just had to watch Spongebob!) Lastly, filmmaker, architect and artist Tapio Snellman probably doesn’t know how to paint old Spanish towns like Vigan, Taal and Intramuros because he’s from Finland. Mr. Cruz imprinted in my mind that artists who choose not to create representational art are frauds.

5. It’s way better to allow informal settlers (squatters) to plant vegetables on EDSA islands that to paint EDSA walls with air-cleaning paint.

And I always thought squatting was illegal?

 

Indeed, my today’s reading was very helpful, insightful and enriched my humanity. For Mr. Neal Cruz, this is for you:

Are you happy now, Mr. Neal Cruz?

***

For the people experiencing disbelief after reading this: Haven’t you sensed my sarcasm?

Images are from:

by Cj de Silva