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10 Gifts I Got As I Turned 25

Since 2007, my birthday has been life lectures more than actual celebrations. I always attempt to drown it out with loud music and booze, but for some reason, life always manages to feed me its bitter (but very useful) pill, filled with substances that activate me to finally grow up.

This year, I thought if I make my celebration low key, life’s whipping would go weak on me.  No party, no friends, just me and some after-concert coffee. But like an unwelcome guest, life still persistently joined me -- all month long.

So I figured, if life won’t leave me alone. Might as well, I ask for fabulous birthday gifts. And so far, here they are:

1. I don’t know everything and I’m not always right. I’ve been told by a dear friend, “Hindi ka na fun kausap. You always think you’re right. Di ka nakikinig.” True to form, I did not listen to him at that time. I used to think that if you believe in something, you fight for it, in any way you can. But now, I discovered that strength also comes in the form of humility.
2. Stress is viral. Symptoms are extreme mood swings, shortening of patience and disrespectful behavior. So when you get struck by it, you better do everything you can to protect other people from it.
3. When you find your voice, express responsibly. Admit it or not, there’s a certain feeling of accomplishment when your opinion seem to matter to other people. In this age of attention, followers, likes, retweets and views are our measure of reach. This gives you more reason to express with prudence, because more people listen to you.
4. Social Media, ironically, is not your friend. That’s the greatest irony, I must say. My good friend and mentor once told me, “The more famous you are, the more fake friends you have.” Social media brags about how it simulates our relationships with other people and I am now focusing on the term simulate. And in this process of simulation, context and subtexts are either lost or misconstrued. The more we tweet, update our Facebook status or post photos on Instagram, the more we expose our lives to misinterpretation by people who barely know us.
5. Help your family first before helping strangers. Because your family will be your greatest support system as you help others.  But make sure you help with decency and justice. Stealing from strangers so that you can help your families is an entirely different thing.
6. Everyone has their roles to fill. And I don’t have to save the world. When our house got flooded by the nameless monsoon, I felt the urge to change the world, or at least the Philippines. But hours of research, texts and phone calls to friends made me realize that advocating for an idea may be good, realizing these advocacies is an entirely different case. So I would just find my role to support the people who were born and equipped to be heroes. Batman always needed Alfred anyway.
7. Romance is abundant. Commitment is scarce. Blame the movies for romancing the search and the struggle for “finding the one”.  But the the truth is, there are plenty of guys (and girls) out there who would like the same music as we do, or whom we can talk to for a whole day straight but there will only be a few people who would actually stick with us, make love with us even if we gained weight after 3 months, or choose to be patient while we throw tantrums. It’s so easy to fall in love but it requires a certain maturity to commit.
8. When you can’t accept, tolerate. I believe that there will always be people who will annoy you even without them doing anything wrong. Or some people’s values just won’t match yours. Either way, these were never valid reasons to bully other people.
9. There are plenty of creative people out there. Some like putting it out there, loud and extravagant. Some choose to subtly show it. Popularity is a factor, but it is not the complete translation for excellence.
10. Just make art, leave the politics to others. When stuck in a social or cultural hierarchy, create your own pedestal. History has proved it, politics and society would always coexist. People will either protect the status quo or shake it. It will be bloody and at the end of the day, I will not matter to these people. So I’d just create something on my own, apart from the field they have been all playing in.

But one gift topped everything that life has given me. Ely Buendia gave me something too. Thanks to his sister, Lally, for making it possible for me to claim it during her brother’s concert in Hard Rock Cafe. Through the years, this song was like my shots of bravery to my blood. But when I heard it live, for the first time, it now feels like the anthem I have always been looking for.

And now its my gift to all of you, free for download. For your desktops, iPhones and Blackberries.

by Cj de Silva