Opinion – Page 3 – CJ DE SILVA-ONG

8 Reminders For Scholasticans Before Reacting To The Pugad Baboy Comic Strip

A few days ago, I was on Facebook talking to high school friends when I stumbled upon the controversial Pol Medina Jr. comic strip.

This reminded me of two things I am proud of about my high school self: One, that I was a Pugad Baboy fan. I collected all Pol Medina Jr.’s books. I tried to copy his facial expressions and mimic his clean inking style. I repeated his jokes to my friends over a three-way telebabad.

And two, that I was a Scholastican.

The president of St. Scho released a statement. Yes, they were definitely offended. They even threatened to file a lawsuit if Philippine Daily inquirer does not do something about it.

I understand why they have to do it though. The school president together with the academe are expected to be representations of the school’s and the Catholic order’s supposedly infallible ideas. It’s just right for them to be sensitive and take offense. After all, they have to be righteous.

Luckily for me, I don’t have to be a walking, breathing translation of St. Scho’s mission-vision statement. But still, my school spirit got awoken. I am a Scholastican after all. With that said, before I get offended or form an opinion, I thought of 8 things I learned in St. Scho, that should inform everyone about this issue:

Just like the intimate act of farting, the funniest things are taboo but all-too-human truths. I think what makes the comic strip funny is not the lesbians in St. Scho, but the very existence of people who still cannot accept homosexuality and actually think it evil. What actually offended me was the statement: “Wala kang makikitang magandang Kulasang walang girlfriend.” Not true. How about all the heterosexual Scholasticans...like me. (I joke.)

Read the rest of the list in www.8list.ph

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by Cj de Silva

Voices

One third of our lives is probably spent searching for that one elusive thing referred to as voice. This even gave birth to the well-celebrated theme in pop culture - the coming of age. As for me, I was Dorothy, Holden Caulfield, Toru Watanabe and William Miller were my Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion. We’re all off to see the Wizard who’s supposed to make us braver and more clever, but not necessarily wiser.

But as I accumulated birthdays, the pastiche of pages from my teen magazines saying “Be yourself.” (in red Futura Extra Bold) wore out of its potency. The recent years were of shock, struggle and eventually, acceptance (some may see it as giving up) that real life is a long winding road made of bricks of compromise.

I came to realize that having a voice is not enough anymore. Sadly, sometimes, my voice can work against me. And no matter how brilliantly Dave Grohl defends me, the Christina Aguileras, Adam Levines and other American Idol judges (I’m mixing my references, aren’t I?) of real life will still find my flaws and “immaturities”.

Thank God for music though. Thank you, Fiona Apple and Zooey Deschanel. Constantly listening to both of you guided me to the answer - modulation. My voice is too valuable for me to just throw away (I’m not as stupid as Little Mermaid!) so I’d rather learn how to modulate it. As much as I want to stay Machiavellian, I’m figuring it’s less painful to get to the end you want with a well-modulated means. Sometimes, singing your life song in soprano sounds like a whine.

I’ll be singing in alto from now on.

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But let me thank one of my heroes, Dave Grohl, for making growing up more exciting though sharing with you these free iPhone and desktop wallpapers. Spread the inspiration!

by Cj de Silva

10 Gifts I Got As I Turned 25

Since 2007, my birthday has been life lectures more than actual celebrations. I always attempt to drown it out with loud music and booze, but for some reason, life always manages to feed me its bitter (but very useful) pill, filled with substances that activate me to finally grow up.

This year, I thought if I make my celebration low key, life’s whipping would go weak on me. No party, no friends, just me and some after-concert coffee. But like an unwelcome guest, life still persistently joined me -- all month long.

So I figured, if life won’t leave me alone. Might as well, I ask for fabulous birthday gifts. And so far, here they are:

I don’t know everything and I’m not always right. I’ve been told by a dear friend, “Hindi ka na fun kausap. You always think you’re right. Di ka nakikinig.” True to form, I did not listen to him at that time. I used to think that if you believe in something, you fight for it, in any way you can. But now, I discovered that strength also comes in the form of humility.
Stress is viral. Symptoms are extreme mood swings, shortening of patience and disrespectful behavior. So when you get struck by it, you better do everything you can to protect other people from it.
When you find your voice, express responsibly. Admit it or not, there’s a certain feeling of accomplishment when your opinion seem to matter to other people. In this age of attention, followers, likes, retweets and views are our measure of reach. This gives you more reason to express with prudence, because more people listen to you.
Social Media, ironically, is not your friend. That’s the greatest irony, I must say. My good friend and mentor once told me, “The more famous you are, the more fake friends you have.” Social media brags about how it simulates our relationships with other people and I am now focusing on the term simulate. And in this process of simulation, context and subtexts are either lost or misconstrued. The more we tweet, update our Facebook status or post photos on Instagram, the more we expose our lives to misinterpretation by people who barely know us.
Help your family first before helping strangers. Because your family will be your greatest support system as you help others. But make sure you help with decency and justice. Stealing from strangers so that you can help your families is an entirely different thing.
Everyone has their roles to fill. And I don’t have to save the world. When our house got flooded by the nameless monsoon, I felt the urge to change the world, or at least the Philippines. But hours of research, texts and phone calls to friends made me realize that advocating for an idea may be good, realizing these advocacies is an entirely different case. So I would just find my role to support the people who were born and equipped to be heroes. Batman always needed Alfred anyway.
Romance is abundant. Commitment is scarce. Blame the movies for romancing the search and the struggle for “finding the one”. But the the truth is, there are plenty of guys (and girls) out there who would like the same music as we do, or whom we can talk to for a whole day straight but there will only be a few people who would actually stick with us, make love with us even if we gained weight after 3 months, or choose to be patient while we throw tantrums. It’s so easy to fall in love but it requires a certain maturity to commit.
When you can’t accept, tolerate. I believe that there will always be people who will annoy you even without them doing anything wrong. Or some people’s values just won’t match yours. Either way, these were never valid reasons to bully other people.
There are plenty of creative people out there. Some like putting it out there, loud and extravagant. Some choose to subtly show it. Popularity is a factor, but it is not the complete translation for excellence.
Just make art, leave the politics to others. When stuck in a social or cultural hierarchy, create your own pedestal. History has proved it, politics and society would always coexist. People will either protect the status quo or shake it. It will be bloody and at the end of the day, I will not matter to these people. So I’d just create something on my own, apart from the field they have been all playing in.

But one gift topped everything that life has given me. Ely Buendia gave me something too. Thanks to his sister, Lally, for making it possible for me to claim it during her brother’s concert in Hard Rock Cafe. Through the years, this song was like my shots of bravery to my blood. But when I heard it live, for the first time, it now feels like the anthem I have always been looking for.

And now its my gift to all of you, free for download. For your desktops, iPhones and Blackberries.

by Cj de Silva

All Hail The Queen

Call me archaic but I think in our modern age, monarchy still exists. We hand-pick our royalties from semi-celebrities to people who take their photos of their outfit of the day, unknowingly proclaiming ourselves as their followers. (Oh hello, Twitter.)

But there will always be the royalty we didn’t choose and simply invaded our lives - in high school, in college and even at work. They might not be the same person, but she’s definitely the same girl. The girl God made to continually make us feel insecure and inadequate. The Queen Bee.

Contrary to popular belief, the Queen Bee is not the girl you can never be. In fact, she’s the girl who’s almost as good (or great) as you, only she makes herself appear to be better than you. She surrounds herself with friends who will make her always one step ahead and bullies you if you attempt to wage a fair fight. She can be the girl who violently pushes you when you bump into each other. Or she can be the girl who gives you cake face to face and would attach a nuclear weapon at your back. Either way, she’s the golden girl and she will make sure you cannot outshine her.

In my 24 years in this planet, I’ve been pushed around, given cake and been planted with nuclear bombs from behind. I’ve seen girls fight back against the Queen Bees of their life but early on, I realized I’m not the type who does that. For years, I've suffered and wallowed quietly until I recently learned that the Queen Bee’s source of power is my very own insecurities.

So whenever I felt that my own Queen Bee haunts me and tries to paralyze me, I hear The Eraserheads sing to me: “Ikaw ang diyos at hari nang ‘yong mundo. Matakot sila sa ‘yo.” I’ll be reminded to let go and let the Queen Bee have her rule, find a myself a new passion to take control of. Something I can own and I can be awesome at.

And here’s my ode to all the Queen Bees who tried but failed to reign over me.

Download the mix here.

*You Know The Answer, Follow The Leader by Ciudad can be downloaded here.
*You're So Cruel Stephanie by Patience Dear Juggernaut can be downloaded here.

by Cj de Silva

The 3 Kinds of Guys You Will Meet In Your Life

Archetypes, by definition, are universally understood symbols (or characters) based on patterns and previous experiences. For me, we use archetypes to conveniently summarize our life as well as the people we meet.

As children, our parents trained us not to trust other people, especially strangers (who may be out to get us and hold us up for ransom). I guess before, it was simpler because we just have to examine whether someone is acting like a kidnapper, luring us with candies. But now that we’re much older, its quite a challenge to tell if we’re about to have our hearts broken by guys promising us romance.

So based on my personal experience, lots of second hand information and exposure to pop culture, here is an unofficial collection of modern-day archetypes of guys we all could meet (or have met).

The Asshole

He probably is the easiest to identify because he is straightforward to a fault. His confidence can come off as arrogance but often, he’s got something to brag. In a normal basis, don’t expect him to voluntarily open the door or wait for you when you walk together. For him, chivalry is an armor he wears when he’s out to a battle to impress someone. And that makes us perennially attracted to Assholes - the thrill of seeing the difference between the way he treats the girl he likes and the way he treats the world.

His psychology: “This is who I am, take it or leave it.”

Fictional Assholes:

The Douche

He works out, drives a fancy car, plans his outfit for the day and he actually has a mental index of party pick up lines. He does everything over the top it becomes annoying. But The Douche is too concerned about his image for a reason - most of the time it is because he’s insecure. I would compare him to the durian fruit - pungent but can be a yummy eat. (Although I personally don’t like durian, you get what I mean.) When a girl uncovers what is behind the pa-cool image, The Douchebag can be thoughtful, honest and caring. (I know a lot of people will kill me for this but...) Just look at Scott Disick.

His psychology: “I have to build an image of a cool guy.”

Fictional Douche bags:

The Jerk

Personally, I think The Jerk is the most dangerous of all because he is unaware of how destructive he can be and he looks harmless. He is brooding and reflective most of the time because he is internally conflicted by insecurities. The Jerk starts off as a nice guy. But as you go along, you will feel his sense of self-entitlement and its as if the world owes him something. Or as I prefer to call it, pa-victim. And please, don’t be fooled by his sensitivity because he is just sensitive to himself.

His psychology: “I’ve been a nice guy all my life and the world owes me. I think it’s just fair if I break someone’s heart.”

Fictional Jerks:

To summarize the archetypes, my friend Celina and I made this Venn Diagram two years ago.

I have met assholes, jerks and douchebags. Some of them I became good friends with , a few of them I dated and some I even genuinely loved. And even though I have the archetypes always ready to help me thin-slice the guys I meet, I also learned that archetypes are oversimplification of people. At the core, guys are complex people with insecurities, fears and dreams, all worth knowing. I believe we’re all smart enough to safeguard ourselves from each other. After all, like what Stephen Chbosky wrote in the book Perks of Being A Wallflower, “You receive the love you think you deserve.”

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Special thanks to Celina Borromeo for the Venn Diagram and all other inputs.

My paper doll illustrations are all inspired by Kyle Hilton's paper doll illustration.

And simply click the images to download the 1024 x 768 file that can be desktop wallpapers. :)

by Cj de Silva