Anonymous Monsters
For the past few weeks, I have been a target of online hate for something I really did not do or intend to do.
I have been tagged on tweets, posts and comments that berates my intelligence, my self-esteem, some called me names, some even poked fun at my height and weight.
Of course, like any human being, I felt pain when I read them, initially. And it's human nature to transfer the pain and anger that we feel. I wanted to defend myself and retaliate, only to realise I do not know who these online monsters are. They hide behind their celebrity idols' faces and names, not realising that their monstrous behaviour can be visually associated with the celebrities they love and respect. These monsters do not realise that when they propagate hate, it's not their faces and reputation that gets tarnished – it is the celebrities.
The online anonymity they posses make them feel so powerful. For the first time, they can say whatever they want to anyone, even celebrities, without being accountable and responsible for the pain and trauma they may cause. They become addicted to the social disinhibition their anonymity provides.
But here lies the truth – these people who bask in anonymity and social disinhibition are weak people in real life. And I empathise, maybe they feel lonely, insecure, insignificant. That's where all the hate comes from.
These online monsters can hate me all they want, all their lives. But I know I'm strong enough to handle that hate. I'm not perfect but I trust myself, I know myself. My self-esteem is intact. Real courage is taking responsibility of your words and action, and how they affect other people. No matter what these online monsters say about me, I have people – real people with real identities, real names and real passions – who remind me that I am worthy to be loved and respected.
Online anonymity turns weak people into monsters. Let's be stronger. Let's be human.
Big Day Slim Team: A Slim-Down Spa At Your Home
Looking at old photos of me and my friends, I have two major realizations:
1. Three of them are getting married, two months apart.
2. My metabolism really did slow down now. (But I am still as cute. Don't argue with me.)
Let’s reflect first on Realization Number 2. Don’t get me wrong: It's not a body image issue! I’m pretty much secure of who I am inside and out. I’ve grown comfortable and confident with my body. I know now how to work with it and around it. I’m a firm believer that we should listen to our bodies and I am hearing my body updating me, “Metabolism--slowing down.”
It’s age. I’ve accepted it. But it doesn’t mean I'll just let it be. I realize now is the best time to make an extra effort to keep myself healthy. I try to eat less junk, more veggies. Walk more. Drink more water. But of course, stress and puyat catch up. But nonetheless, there is a conscious effort.
Which brings me to Realization Number 1. In each of these weddings, I will be a bridesmaid and I need to wear three different dresses! I have no plans doing crash diets just to fit in those dresses. (Crash diets can be seriously dangerous!) But with my slowing metabolism plus the inevitable stresses of adulting, a little help is very welcome.
Big Day Slim Team came in at the right time! Big Day Slim Team is your most convenient way to safely lose a few inches. They’re a home-service team, so they go to your place at the time you prefer. The setup really works for me because it’s in the privacy of my own home.
I booked six sessions (that’s the minimum) of Lipocavitation and Radiofrequency for both my tummy area and arms. And of course, I’ve researched and asked doctor friends about it, the procedures are safe and non-invasive. The side effects I’ve read about are minimal bruising but that never happened to me. For a complete list of the services they offer and their rates, here’s a link: http://www.bigdayslimteam.com/services.html
Every session, the Big Day Slim team turns our condo into a mini spa. Along with their slimming machines, they also bring a bed that's covered with fresh, clean sheets and towels. They can also play spa music if you ask them to. But in my case, I catch up on series episodes or movies.
Each session lasts around 2 1/2 hours. We always take measurements before and after, to record the changes. The procedures were comfortable and painless. Actually, I just felt like I was having a massage! I was even able to watch Netflix during the procedure.
The technicians are also well-trained, friendly and assuring. They are knowledgable about the services, attentively accommodating my questions. They also ask me from time to time if the intensity of the machines are good with my preference or tolerance. For more details, I advise you also read their FAQ’s, quite helpful: http://www.bigdayslimteam.com/faqs.htm
So was it effective? Take my word for it. Here’s how much I’ve lost per session:
SESSION 1
Tummy - 0.5 inch
Arms - 0.5 inch each arm
SESSION 2
Tummy - 1 inch
Arms - 0.5 inch each arm
SESSION 3
Tummy - 1 inch
Arms - 1 inch each arm
SESSION 4
Tummy - 1 inch
Arms - 1 inch each arm
So far, that’s a total of 3.5 inches lost in the tummy area and 3 inches lost in both my arms. I actually also tried their Radiofrequency for the face and neck during my fourth sessions and many people noticed the difference. In the coming weeks, I’ll be finishing my SESSIONS 5 and 6! I’m very satisfied with Big Day Slim Team’s service — private, convenient and most of all effective.
But always remember, these services are like finishing touches to a masterpiece. They are quick, but not a quick fix. We still need to continually take care of our bodies by eating healthy and staying active.
Vertigo
After 5 days filled with on and off vertigo episodes, I'm finally going back to work, to life, on Thursday.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with my world literally spinning. I was nauseated. I passed out and woke up the next day. That's when we went to the ER. The doctor diagnosed me with vertigo, gave me a prescription of Betahistine Hydrochloride for me to take twice a day.
When the dizziness won't go away til Sunday, I was brought to an ENT doctor. She won't commit it as "vertigo" that's related to Meniere's disease because <WAIT FOR IT>, she couldn't see my inner ear.
Both my ears were "impacted". Simpler terms: Hardened earwax. DON'T JUDGE ME, MY ENT DIDN'T! I was so defensive when I told her, "But I clean my ears every so often!!!" And she said my ear canals were narrower than normal. So the more I clean with cotton buds, the more I push the icky stuff in.
So today, my ENT performed an ear irrigation (I wanted to pun but no). My right ear brought me to tears, it is now inflamed. But doctor said it's normal and should heal in a few days. Everything is louder and clearer than usual. My dizziness is gone. But I was advised to take one more day to rest my sore right ear. And I need to come back to the doctor next week for more findings.
I am a bit embarrassed about the ear impaction, but I would choose that over Meniere's disease and the possibility of another vertigo attack.
Thank you for my workmates and bosses who were so understanding. My parents, Camille who went with me to the doctor and most of all, Wincy for taking care of me. Best husband ("Hubby" ba? Gusto mo "hubby"?) in the work award goes to you.
Love + (not vs.) Career, Achieve Naman!
Dear Leah,
Strange at cliché at the same time, pero sasabihin kong napagdaanan ko na ang pinagdaraanan mo ngayon — ang magplano ng kasal (na February rin) habang sinusubukan kong i-prove ang sarili ko sa career na pinili ko. Hindi lang kasi true love ang pangarap ko, pangarap ko ring magkaroon ng meaningful na career sa advertising.
Sinabihan ka ni Clark (nakita ko sa teaser ng episode this week) na kailangan mong i-set ang priorities mo. Pero mayroong kaunting siyang padaplis na dapat ang kasal ninyo ang priority ninyo. Kaya ang tanong ko — pangarap mo ba talaga ang magka-career sa advertising o tipong “job-to-pay-the-bills” mo lang ito? Dahil kung yung latter ang sagot mo, madali lang naman na huwag mag-effort. Pero nakikita ko yung stress mo to impress Simon, so I guess gusto mong mag-shine talaga bilang isang copywriter. (And eventually a Creative Director)
Kung gusto mo talagang pagsabayin si Clark at ang advertising career — achieve naman pero medyo may mga adjustments. Siguro noong pinagdaanan ko ‘yan, inisip ko muna kung anu-ano ang mga factors mayroon akong control. Kagaya nang: When it comes to adjustments, sino ang mas kaya mo bang pakiusapan si Clark or si Simon? ‘Di ba, si Clark?
So unang una, explain to Clark the nature of the work. Advertising is demanding, erratic, physically, emotionally and psychologically taxing, but incredibly rewarding. The work load and the hours are sometimes hard to take, especially sa mga taong ang konsepto lang ng “work” ay 9 to 5. But you have to explain to Clark that our work doesn’t necessarily start when we come in and end when we go home. Nakikita kong nagiging point of discussion ninyo ‘yang sunduan na ‘yan. Honestly, kami ni Wincy, pinagdaanan din namin ‘yan. Dati religiously niya pa akong sinusundo at hinihintay. Pero in the long run, marerealize ninyong unfair lang kayo sa oras ng isa’t isa. Mas efficient nang umuwi mag-isa, just keep each other posted. Or if late na talaga, tsaka ka na magpasundo. Ikaw na lang ang maghintay sa kanya, at least, alam mong tapos ka na sa trabaho.
Ikalawa, i-explain mo sa kanya ang long term effect ng OT sacrifices mo, especially sa fulfilment mo as an individual (independent woman) at sa finances ninyo. Yung hard work at brilliance mo naman will not go unrewarded, eventually, magkaka-award ka, you’ll win pitches, you’ll grow businesses and if nasa tama kang kumpanya, magiging fair naman sila sa sweldo mo. A double-income home (you and Clark) is ideal sa panahon natin ngayon. Clark has a business and you are employed. Mas malaki man on paper yung pera ni Clark, you’ll have the stability and consistency of having a regular paycheck. That way, mas financially ninyo ma-su-suportahan ang isa’t isa. (Further reading: Thanks Advertising by Tom Demetriou)
Ikatlo, wedding planning. Nakakaloka ang P30,000 budget para sa kasal! I-multiply mo pa siguro yan by 30, ‘yun ang realistic na budget para sa average na kasal. Pero keri na ‘yan, sasagutin na ‘yan ng Dreamscape at ABS-CBN. Yung sa schedules at tasks (like food and cake tasting), malaking tulong kung mag-divide kayo ni Clark ng tasks. Noong kami ni Wincy, ang hatian namin, lahat ng Church-related, sa kanya. Lahat ng reception (and design) related, sa akin. Para kung may ‘di naasikaso, may sense of accountability kayo. Ang di makagawa, e ‘di waley ka. You don’t have to do everything together, you know. Trust in each others’ decisions. And if you like to do things together, schedule it on a weekend. Wag na wag weekdays. Or at least sa ‘yo at sa trabaho mo, waley na ang weekday sched dahil priority nga ang career mo rin, ‘di ba?
When it comes to Simon naman — naku, huwag kang papasindak. ECD’s usually are just outspoken because they have to, for the work, not to belittle you. Don’t take him personally. A mark of a brilliant at inspiring boss is when he gives constructive criticisms and challenges in a professional level. Hindi naman niya hahamakin yung pagkatao mo, hahamakin niya from time to time yung work na dine-deliver mo. After all, you applied for that job. Toughen up a little. At huwag ka ngang parating parang naiiyak! Sabi mo nga, push. Siguro, if there’s one thing I’ll disagree with Simon, is that not “Everything has to be perfect.” Walang makakapagsabi kung ano ang perfect, kahit pa si Lee Clow, they can only say what they think is right. So always fight for your point of view.
Pero i-connect ko lang si Simon at yung kasal. I think it's okay to update your boss about your personal life, especially if milestone naman 'to. Yung mga boss ko, naintindihan naman nila na one month before ng wedding date ko, ipa-prioritize ko na yung kasal, siyempre. Kailangan mo lang i-explain.
Mahaba-haba na ‘to. Anyway, good luck sa wedding planning at sa career mo. Kung ako sa ‘yo, mag-focus ka sa career mo! Mas long-term reward. Yung kasal? It doesn’t need to be perfect. Isang araw lang ‘yon. Ang forever ay yung self-fulfilment mo, which will contribute to your happier marriage with Clark.
Sincerely,
Minsang nag-plan ng wedding, forever fight sa career
Disclaimer: Leah, Clark and Simon are fictional characters in the hit TV series na On The Wings Of Love. This blog post is another reaction to the December 21, 2015 episode. Lee Clow is a real advertising genius, though.
Image Credit: Screengrab from I Want TV
An Open Letter To Tanya Zamora, The Senior Copywriter
Dear Tanya Zamora,
Hindi na kita i-Inglesin ng formal, kasi gaya nga ng pagkapakilala sa ‘yo, Senior Copywriter ka. Associate Creative Director ang label ko, pero alam kong ‘di hamak na mas magaling ka sa akin pagdating sa mga salita, or sa advertising-speak, sa “copy”.
Sinusulatan kita kasi gusto kong ipaalala sa ‘yo ang meaning ng position mo. Walang halong yabang, just stating a fact, alam ko ang pakiramdam ng isang senior. Hindi pa ako extremely senior, Creative Directors at Executive Creative Directors ang mga iyon. Sa bigger picture, medyo-senior lang tayo. Isang ranggo lang inangat mula sa junior. Anyway, mabalik tayo sa punto ko — Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng "senior”? Marami kasi.
Isipin mo, bakit ka nga ba andyan? Dahil ba sa hardwork and awards? Consistency? Simpleng tenure? Or dahil ma-chika ka? Para sa akin, para maging “Senior” ka, may experience ka. Na connected sa susunod kong punto.
Una - Senior ka kasi may experience ka. Ibig sabihin may pinagdaanan ka. Nagsulat ka na ng maraming tagline na hindi pinili. Mga lyrics ng jingle na nirevise nang paulit-ulit ng kliyente hanggang ‘di mo na marinig ang mga orihinal mong linya. Mga TVC scripts na on-the-spot mong iniba habang shoot dahil ayaw sabihin ng talent mong celebrity. Malamang nagsulat ka rin ng banner ads na ‘di mo naman sure kung mayroong pumapansin o aksidente lang nilang na-kli-click. Ibig sabihin, naghirap ka rin. Nag-OT ka rin. May mga oras kang ipinagpalit ang mahal mo sa buhay (siguro 'di lang sing-gwapo ni Clark) para sa trabaho.
Kaya napapaisip ako, bakit ganoon na lang kung tratuhin mo si Leah Olivar, na isang junior copywriter? Pinagdaanan mo ang kaba kung wala kang naibabatong idea sa brainstorming, ang kawalan ng inspirasyon o ng tamang salita. Pinagdaanan mo ang rejection. Kaya siguro naman alam mo na dapat sa ngayon kung paano mag-reject.
Ikalawa - Senior ka kasi inaasahan kang magbibigay ng direksyon. Bilang “mature” ka na, dapat alam mo kung paano magbigay ng feedbacks at comments. Na imbes na criticism, gagawin mo itong points of improvement, gagawin mo itong “builds”. Papagandahin mo ang trabaho dapat ni Leah. Pero hindi mo ‘yon ginawa. Instead, binigyan mo siya ng subjective at baseless na comment. At kung iisipin mo, on-strat ang tagline ni Leah. Kung ako ang nasa pusisyon mo, sasabihin ko kung ano ang maganda sa ginawa ni Leah pero sasabihin ko rin yung mga hindi nag-wo-work. Sasabihin ko ring magiging maigi kung may mga options pa siya. Magbaon siya ng maraming taglines na insightful. Humugot siya mula sa life experiences, sa life truths at hindi lamang mag-puns.
Ika-tatlo, senior ka at responsibility mong mag-motivate at mag-inspire ng mga mas bata kaysa sa 'yo. Responsibility mong i-guide sila, i-empower sila. Hindi reason yung sinabi mong, “WHAT, I’M BUSY!” para hindi mo ayusin ang pakikipag-usap mo kay Leah. Nasa professional kayong lugar, hindi ba dapat alam mo na paano makipag-usap professionally?
At since nasa usapang responsibility na tayo, hindi ba’t responsibility mo ring ibigay kay Leah ang credit na tagline niya ang napili. Ika nga ni Leigh Reyes (ECD siya ng Lowe, just so you know), “When you make others shine, that light shines on all of us.” Ka-team mo naman si Leah, ‘di ba? So her victory is your victory. Huwag kang madamot.
Anyway, mahaba-haba na ‘tong open letter ko sa ‘yo, considering fictional character ka. Alam ko namang ang main purpose mo ay i-push forward yung plot. Hindi kita sinulatan kasi pa-sensitive ako sa trabaho ko sa Advertising. Gusto ko lang i-point out na nagkamali ka sa pagtrato kay Leah, bilang junior copywriter at bilang tao. Bakit ka ba ganyan? Yung boss mo ba dati naging mean rin sa ‘yo? Kung sakali mang inapi ka rin nung junior ka, parang mas okay yata kung iniba mo na yung culture. Sana imbes na nag-power trip ka kay Leah, naging inspiration ka na lang. Sana ipina-appreciate mo sa kanya yung process. Sana ipinaunawa mo sa kanya na minsan, kailangan mong i-push yung craft at creativity niya para sa ikakaganda ng trabaho ninyo at nang career niya. Sana binigyan mo siya ng kaunting hope at patience na kahit mahirap ang ginagawa natin, may mga naso-solve naman kayong business, social or design problems. At more than anything, sana ipinaalam mo sa kanya that brilliant ideas win over politics.
Kung sakaling na-offend ka sa sulat ko, pasensya ka na. Pwede naman tayong mag-coffee or cocktails, baka kasi stressed ka lang sa work. Teka, ‘te, may award ka na ba?
Sincerely,
P.S. Si Tanya Zamora ay isang fictional character sa hit TV series na On The Wings Of Love. Fan lang ako ng TV series. Pero gusto ko lang sanang mag-share ng strong feelings ko, reaction ba, sa episode last November 2, 2015.
Image Credit: Screengrab from I Want TV