I'm Drunk, I Love You: A Sober Take On Unrequited Love
My favorite scene in JP Habac’s I’m Drunk, I Love You was when Dio (Paulo Avelino) started talking about his insecurities as an aspiring filmmaker, comparing himself with batch mates that were already featured in Young Star. The sound of frustration in Dio’s words clearly established the weight and meaning of it, especially if you’re a young Filipino artist. Carson (Maja Salvador), being the super best friend that she is, immediately turns it into a joke and tells Dio, “Mas bagay ka kasi sa Abante.”
The thing is, I know exactly how Dio feels towards Young Star. The same way I also know how Carson feels towards Dio. Both romantic, both juvenile and silly. I’m Drunk I Love You made me realise, GRADUATE NA TALAGA AKO SA DALAWANG ISSUE NA ‘YAN. But who am I to judge Dio and Carson, they needed to go through those yearnings so they could grow up.
Quirks and Intimacy
Watching I’m Drunk, I Love You felt like tagging along with Carson, Dio and Jason Ty. Fine, isama na natin si Pathy. It was entertaining and funny. The little frienship traditions were engaging — their common love for cheap alcohol and Peter’s Butterball, the love for OPM and the iPod game, and of course, the unparalleled fondness for Bagnet. Although I knew about the quirks, for some reason, I didn’t feel the intimate with Carson and Dio. I felt I was seeing the movie only through Carson’s limited point of view.
I wish I knew why Carson loves Dio so much — beyond Dio being good looking and talented. I wish I knew why Dio suddenly wanted to take up law, even without him explaining it Carson. It can be just between him and me (as the audience). I wish I knew little extra about Pathy, not just about the extra H in her name. Why did Pathy and Dio break up? What did Dio like about Pathy? But Jason Ty definitely felt like a real best friend to me.
Old Trope, New Focus
I’m Drunk, I Love You’s premise is not new. In fact, it utilises a romcom trope that has been recycled for so many years — Reality Bites, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Labs Kita Okey Ka Lang, Close To You, She’s The One — I think I’ve seen most of them. (Obviously, it’s my favorite trope.)
But I’m Drunk, I Love You gives it a fresh take by shifting the focus from the epic goal of winning the guy to the simple task of getting the emotion out of the f*cking way. When Carson admitted her feelings to Dio, it felt at first like a drunken declaration of love. But when she pulled away from Dio’s kisses, she proved to be emotionally sober. Carson knew they were kisses of consolation. (Sabi nga ni Jeff Buckley, “Kiss me out of desire, not out of consolation.”)
Sobering Up
“Huwag kang mag-sorry. Hindi mo kasalanan na hindi mo ako mahal.” Carson told Dio the day after the eventful night.
I’m Drunk, I Love You was not a love story. It was about finally moving forward. And it starts with a making a decision, which ultimately is empowering. In the last scene of the movie, I cried. No, it’s not when Sugarfree’s Burnout started to play. It was when Carson broke into laughter, leaving Dio completely clueless about it. At that moment, I knew she made a decision — to continue being Dio’s best friend, sans the pining and hoping. Carson finally realised that her life, her happiness, is up to her. Carson decided to grow up.
Bataan: A Local Historical Destination
I only knew of Bataan through my lolo’s perennial anecdotes about his experience during the Japanese occupation. He was seven when he and his dad had travel by foot and by boat to seek refuge in Bataan. Sweet potatoes are the only thing they could eat, he’d reiterate. However detailed my lolo’s stories were, Bataan remained to be just a mere setting. No photos nor vivid descriptions of the landscapes that could help me picture how Bataan was actually like.
But last May, Wincy surprised me with a well-planned weekend trip to Bataan. Finally! He already booked the hotel and even prepared an itinerary! My only task was to research where to eat. What I like best about Wincy’s itinerary was that it had a point of view, and some form of narrative that structured the whole trip.
Mt. Samat Shrine aka Dambana Ng Kagitingan
Initially, I thought the shrine would just be a simple giant cross on top of a mountain. When we got there, The Colonnade welcomed us – an Art Deco structure with marble walls and columns, stained glass panes, bronze installations and reliefs by Napoleon Abueva, all immortalising the tragedies and victories of the second World War.
At the corner of the Colonnade, there’s a small museum filled with artifacts. Looking at the weapons, worn out army uniforms and boots, news clippings and propaganda pamphlets felt reminiscent of this:
A quick uphill drive was the Memorial Cross, literally at the summit of Mt. Samat. From up close, the cross seemed more like a tower, clad with reliefs visualising our country’s history, our constant fight for freedom and independence.
Funny Break: When it started drizzling, Wincy and I took it as a cue to leave the shrine and check in our hotel. As I was getting down the Colonnade, I slipped. The soles of my Adidas Gazelles was relatively smooth, without grips. I had no way of controlling my fall – I slid down from the middle until the very last step. I didn’t scream because I didn’t want more people to see me. But a group of titas in a van screamed as they saw the whole ordeal while a distracted Wincy Ong (who was waiting in the car beside the titas) didn’t even see my very own epic “Fall of Bataan”.
On the way to Balanga, installations trailed the road, as if marking specific spots. Intrigued, we slowed down for a bit and discovered these installations were markers of the tragic Bataan Death March. Passing through markers to markers, I felt my sadness transform into a sense of gratitude and honor, realising that many Filipinos fought and died for our independence.
Balanga: Nostalgic Cosmopolitan
We stayed overnight in The Plaza Hotel, which was right at the heart of Balanga. Our room had a view of the town - you’d see the plaza where people gather for concerts and parties, the Balanga Cathedral, the mall, the city hall, and connected to it was the city library. Balanga was like a little Barcelona - a modern cultural center veiled by nostalgic architecture.
Like I mentioned, my only task was to find the right places to eat. Great food was not hard to find in Bataan, especially if you have a friend who actually lives there. Thanks to my good friend Michael, we got to try all these:
- Inside our hotel was a japanese restaurant popular to the locals, Cafe Kyoto.
- Stregato Gelateria is a few minute walk from the hotel. They also serve Italian savory dishes.
- Roberto’s serve good steaks, barbecue and burgers. They also have good coffee and desserts. It’s just across the plaza.
- The Beanery is a well-loved cafe in Bataan. They serve a wide range of coffee drinks (from your usuals to dessert-like frappes), as well as snacks and hearty meals. It’s actually so refreshing to see a local brand thrive over chain cafes.
Exploring Balanga was a perfect slow down to our rather historical and educational day trip.
Wincy enjoying the veranda of Roberto's.
Why We All Need Simon
Don’t get me wrong. I am rooting for Clark and Leah — that’s why I think On The Wings Of Love needed Simon.
First of all, I appreciate how Simon’s character is carefully crafted. His backstory was a bittersweet metamorphosis from a shy nerd to a sophisticate, all because of the right kind of love. His tragic love story with Juliet gave enough reason for me to believe that, hey, this guy had been through a lot. For sure, Simon’s already all grown up, making him the ultimate foil to Leah and Clark as a couple, and as individuals.
Simon and Leah
If you carefully notice, Leah never had someone to look up to. Leah started out as a lost girl who wanted to find her mother. Her dreams were not for herself but for her family. She was a character that only reacts to whatever her fate in San Francisco throws at her. When she retuned to Manila and started working in advertising, she met Simon. Simon made Leah appreciate the difference between a job and a career. Finally, Leah was making plans and setting goals for herself, while her family also benefits as well.
Maybe not everyone will understand, but having a mentor is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. A mentor fulfils a certain facet in a person’s life that romantic love or familial love cannot fill in — self actualisation.
Simon gives Leah the great opportunity to self-actualise. To go beyond making ends meet and find a passion that pays. Through Simon, Leah actually hones her talent and grows as an individual. In Leah’s eyes, Simon is her mentor. That’s pretty clear to me. To her, Simon is everything she dreams of becoming — secure, confident, stable and independent.
Simon and Clark
Leah would always describe Clark as perfect. Clark was Leah’s hero — always there to protect her, defend her and help her. San Francisco may have robbed Clark of a normal childhood, personal and educational growth but Clark compensated with hard work, creativity and grit. In essence, Clark is the human equivalent of diskarte.
Here comes Simon — the Summa Cum Laude from one of the top universities in the Philippines, one of the youngest Executive Creative Directors in the advertising industry. Good on paper — everything Clark is not. And that drives Clark crazy insecure, crazy jealous, exposing our supposedly perfect hubby’s cracks and flaws — a mark of great writing! The more flawed the characters are, the more human they become.
Basically, Simon’s sheer existence has humanised Clark. Clark is no longer the dreamy, brooding amboy that he was. It also doesn’t help that Simon is witty, calculated, and eloquent. He knows how to subtly push Clark’s buttons without getting himself intro trouble. But that gets Leah into trouble.
Simon and #CLeah
Of course, Simon’s character was definitely designed to rock the couple’s boat. Fiction blooms in conflict. I refuse to see Simon as a third party because clearly, Leah admires him as a mentor and not as a romantic partner. Leah is not cheating in any way, whether physically and emotionally. She’s merely building her universe as an individual person, beyond her being Clark’s wife. And Simon has a clear role in her universe.
What makes Simon’s character further interesting is his evolving feelings for Leah — from professional admiration to romantic aspirations. I cannot blame him. In fact, it’s easy to comprehend: It’s so easy to fall in love with a person who stimulates your mind. After all, falling in love happens inside the head. But this makes Leah and Simon’s relationship imbalanced, affecting Leah and Clark’s.
Also with Simon’s existence, the immaturity of Leah and Clark as a couple is magnified. Obviously, Simon is an issue both of them cannot handle very well. Clark starts to become passive aggressive about his feelings while Leah gets constantly accused of being selfish and punished for being unassuming. Makes me rethink if Leah and Clark are actually ready to get married, and more so, are they marrying for the right reasons?
Simon and Us (The Audience)
On The Wings Of Love is a TV series starring the love team of JaDine. Although it may have been inspired by its creators’ personal experiences, at the end of the day, it is a work of fiction. JaDine is a love team, so it is understandable for the audience, us, to expect lots of kilig moments.
But I’d like to believe that the creators of On The Wings Of Love are more than the kilig moments they churn out. They are storytellers, love storytellers, to be more specific. And the greatest love stories are about relationships, about people who work their ways around their own flaws and imperfections. Relationships have kilig moments but a collection of kilig moments does not make a relationship.
Simon challenging #CLeah is a good exercise in watching fiction. If there’s such a thing as “writing problem”, or “directing problem” there is also a thing as “watching problem.” The kind of narrative On The Wings Of Love is exposing us stretches our watching behavior. Where do we draw the line between Clark and James, Leah and Nadine, Simon and Paulo? Up to what extent can we comprehend the characters’ conflicts and points of view? Are we only watching On The Wings Of Love for the kilig moments or are we truly invested on Clark and Leah’s journey?
Simon and Paulo Avelino
Can we take the moment to realise and appreciate how brilliant it is casting Paulo Avelino as Simon? Paulo Avelino exudes an intoxicating artsy mystery, like an untamed, brooding gentleman. His styling is polished and sharp, but the way he talks is still imperfect (with a slight lisp, missing some pronunciations) which adds to the nerd-turned-executive charm. He melts well — he can give you cold, he can give you tender. And as a public figure, he’s too cool to care about the social media wrath of the JaDine fans.
You, Me and OTWOL
Lastly, I really hope more women gets to understand Leah. I’m not here to argue, but I would just like to offer perspective. On The Wings Of Love is shot in an omniscient, third person point of view, meaning, we all know the characters’ true feelings, thoughts and intentions. Making us know more than Leah. We may know that Clark’s jealousy truly has basis, and that Simon’s actually starting to take things personal. But Simon's true feelings are beyond Leah's knowledge. Yes, she may feel it, but based on how things are turning out — she seems clueless. I’d like to think that Leah is just the type of girl who doesn’t want to assume. She’s been like that ever since. Clark took her to a DIY prom and still she chose not to assume that Clark loves her. That’s why I don’t think she’ll ever assume Simon is in love with her, unless Simon expresses it directly. Another thing, it is quite tricky and risky to actually assume that kind of thing about your boss.
But more than anything, I am really happy that On The Wings Of Love happened to local television. I think it has opened interesting discussions and discourse, revealing the diverse psychographics of the audience, indirectly touching on feminism. And although we may not agree with each other's opinions, but there’s a respectful way to express ourselves.
*** Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Photo from Wikipedia.
Reimagining Darna
I grew up with two Darnas to look up to -- Nanette Medved's and Anjanette Abayari's. We didn't have cable before. I would ask my Ninong to tell me more about Vilma Santos' Darna, just so I could complete the Darna collection in my head.
That's why when I saw the teaser of Direk Erik Matti's Darna 2016 while watching Honor Thy Father, I couldn't contain my excitement. My childhood memories and fantasies were awakened. How would this year's Darna be like?
I wasn't too convinced on her costume before. Aside from the fact that she was being hyper-sexualized, I always thought it would be quite uncomfortable to fight bad guys in a strapless bra-top and heeled boots. So in my head, I had always imagined Darna to have more cover. And maybe she can also be the type of woman who prefers sneakers.
I also think Narda shouldn't lose her powers of discernment--especially the moral choices of a flawed human being-- whenever she turns into Darna. It would be interesting to see simple a Filipina who remains who she is when empowered by supernatural forces. That would be a good study on the idea of power.
Of course, I also thought of how Cameron Stewart redesigned Batgirl and Barbara Gordon. He made her techie skills more relevant. Maybe Darna could also be more tech-savvy--maybe even collaborating with local hacktivists.
Can't wait to find out who will play Narda/Darna. And of course, I wanna see what's the new vision for her mythology.
Love + (not vs.) Career, Achieve Naman!
Dear Leah,
Strange at cliché at the same time, pero sasabihin kong napagdaanan ko na ang pinagdaraanan mo ngayon — ang magplano ng kasal (na February rin) habang sinusubukan kong i-prove ang sarili ko sa career na pinili ko. Hindi lang kasi true love ang pangarap ko, pangarap ko ring magkaroon ng meaningful na career sa advertising.
Sinabihan ka ni Clark (nakita ko sa teaser ng episode this week) na kailangan mong i-set ang priorities mo. Pero mayroong kaunting siyang padaplis na dapat ang kasal ninyo ang priority ninyo. Kaya ang tanong ko — pangarap mo ba talaga ang magka-career sa advertising o tipong “job-to-pay-the-bills” mo lang ito? Dahil kung yung latter ang sagot mo, madali lang naman na huwag mag-effort. Pero nakikita ko yung stress mo to impress Simon, so I guess gusto mong mag-shine talaga bilang isang copywriter. (And eventually a Creative Director)
Kung gusto mo talagang pagsabayin si Clark at ang advertising career — achieve naman pero medyo may mga adjustments. Siguro noong pinagdaanan ko ‘yan, inisip ko muna kung anu-ano ang mga factors mayroon akong control. Kagaya nang: When it comes to adjustments, sino ang mas kaya mo bang pakiusapan si Clark or si Simon? ‘Di ba, si Clark?
So unang una, explain to Clark the nature of the work. Advertising is demanding, erratic, physically, emotionally and psychologically taxing, but incredibly rewarding. The work load and the hours are sometimes hard to take, especially sa mga taong ang konsepto lang ng “work” ay 9 to 5. But you have to explain to Clark that our work doesn’t necessarily start when we come in and end when we go home. Nakikita kong nagiging point of discussion ninyo ‘yang sunduan na ‘yan. Honestly, kami ni Wincy, pinagdaanan din namin ‘yan. Dati religiously niya pa akong sinusundo at hinihintay. Pero in the long run, marerealize ninyong unfair lang kayo sa oras ng isa’t isa. Mas efficient nang umuwi mag-isa, just keep each other posted. Or if late na talaga, tsaka ka na magpasundo. Ikaw na lang ang maghintay sa kanya, at least, alam mong tapos ka na sa trabaho.
Ikalawa, i-explain mo sa kanya ang long term effect ng OT sacrifices mo, especially sa fulfilment mo as an individual (independent woman) at sa finances ninyo. Yung hard work at brilliance mo naman will not go unrewarded, eventually, magkaka-award ka, you’ll win pitches, you’ll grow businesses and if nasa tama kang kumpanya, magiging fair naman sila sa sweldo mo. A double-income home (you and Clark) is ideal sa panahon natin ngayon. Clark has a business and you are employed. Mas malaki man on paper yung pera ni Clark, you’ll have the stability and consistency of having a regular paycheck. That way, mas financially ninyo ma-su-suportahan ang isa’t isa. (Further reading: Thanks Advertising by Tom Demetriou)
Ikatlo, wedding planning. Nakakaloka ang P30,000 budget para sa kasal! I-multiply mo pa siguro yan by 30, ‘yun ang realistic na budget para sa average na kasal. Pero keri na ‘yan, sasagutin na ‘yan ng Dreamscape at ABS-CBN. Yung sa schedules at tasks (like food and cake tasting), malaking tulong kung mag-divide kayo ni Clark ng tasks. Noong kami ni Wincy, ang hatian namin, lahat ng Church-related, sa kanya. Lahat ng reception (and design) related, sa akin. Para kung may ‘di naasikaso, may sense of accountability kayo. Ang di makagawa, e ‘di waley ka. You don’t have to do everything together, you know. Trust in each others’ decisions. And if you like to do things together, schedule it on a weekend. Wag na wag weekdays. Or at least sa ‘yo at sa trabaho mo, waley na ang weekday sched dahil priority nga ang career mo rin, ‘di ba?
When it comes to Simon naman — naku, huwag kang papasindak. ECD’s usually are just outspoken because they have to, for the work, not to belittle you. Don’t take him personally. A mark of a brilliant at inspiring boss is when he gives constructive criticisms and challenges in a professional level. Hindi naman niya hahamakin yung pagkatao mo, hahamakin niya from time to time yung work na dine-deliver mo. After all, you applied for that job. Toughen up a little. At huwag ka ngang parating parang naiiyak! Sabi mo nga, push. Siguro, if there’s one thing I’ll disagree with Simon, is that not “Everything has to be perfect.” Walang makakapagsabi kung ano ang perfect, kahit pa si Lee Clow, they can only say what they think is right. So always fight for your point of view.
Pero i-connect ko lang si Simon at yung kasal. I think it's okay to update your boss about your personal life, especially if milestone naman 'to. Yung mga boss ko, naintindihan naman nila na one month before ng wedding date ko, ipa-prioritize ko na yung kasal, siyempre. Kailangan mo lang i-explain.
Mahaba-haba na ‘to. Anyway, good luck sa wedding planning at sa career mo. Kung ako sa ‘yo, mag-focus ka sa career mo! Mas long-term reward. Yung kasal? It doesn’t need to be perfect. Isang araw lang ‘yon. Ang forever ay yung self-fulfilment mo, which will contribute to your happier marriage with Clark.
Sincerely,
Minsang nag-plan ng wedding, forever fight sa career
Disclaimer: Leah, Clark and Simon are fictional characters in the hit TV series na On The Wings Of Love. This blog post is another reaction to the December 21, 2015 episode. Lee Clow is a real advertising genius, though.
Image Credit: Screengrab from I Want TV